you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize