What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
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July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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