My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
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Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
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The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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