So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
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For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
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Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
where are my eyebrows?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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