I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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