the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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