we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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