splinters make it hard to masturbate
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize