i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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