I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize