its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
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He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
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that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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