Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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