I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize