She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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