...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
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When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
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This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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