I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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