he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
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Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You made out with two different species that night
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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