If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
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Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
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I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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