Will you blow on my dice?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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