Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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