he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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