I wish my penis had an off switch
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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