Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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