Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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