Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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