Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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