I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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