I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Pants are for mortals
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