just come out here and I will go home with you...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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