does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
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I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
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I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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