did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This girl is more easily done than said...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
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My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
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Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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