maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize