Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
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I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
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I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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