we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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