It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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