You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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