I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
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What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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