Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize