if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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