feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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