Me too!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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