man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize