it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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