Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize