hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize