I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
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So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
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I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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