Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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