i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Shame - the story of my life.
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