What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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