Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
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I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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