Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
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Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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